A contradiction 

What does it mean to be a lover?

It’s to feel pain 

To see hate 

To be in a constant state of disappointment 

Because you know that the world isn’t like you

That the world is cold

That the world is unjust

That the world doesn’t really care

But you wish it did, 

You wish that you could go to sleep one night with empty thoughts and wake up the next with a full heart

But you can’t, your mind is full and your heart is starving

The world, it keeps

depriving you, it keeps 

pulling you up then dropping you right on your face 

And yeah there’s good yada yada yada,

But sometimes that good still doesn’t shine bright enough

You open the blinds and the darkness shines, it pierces, it shouts, and you can’t help but look at it because things affect you and even when it’s not intended to, it still affects you because let’s not forget that you’re a lover so that stranger who was deported affects you, that mother without proper healthcare affects you, those who can’t be comfortable with who they are affects you, that video of that death affects you, 

And the good stories make you cry, partially because it’s beautiful, partially because the whole world is not like that everyday 

So what does it mean to be a lover? 

I laugh, I cry, I lament. Being a lover is not easy, it’s the hardest thing you could do in this world, it’s to feel, and to feel deeply. And no I don’t have any solution because sadly, love can’t control everybody but my hope is that one day it will free us all from the pain. 

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